Scared

I am incredibly anxious right now. I mean, downright SCARED. About my future, primarily. And I'm lonely. I've got my boy, and have been focusing on him. But remember that he's non-verbal....so not a lot of conversation to be had. 

Today I'm missing the conversation and laughter I had with my bf. We texted randomly throughout the day, and to have that just stop cold turkey.....makes me feel like an addict who is Jonesing. Lonely. Missing the good stuff. 

I've joined an online dating service. I had to. I work as a nanny & mom, so meeting someone organically isn't likely to happen. I really dislike this process!!! And by "dislike" I mean "haaaaaaate"!!!! Trying to keep an open mind. Partly because I compare everyone to him. The him that dumped me. This is SUCH a shitty place to be.