SO Pedictable

OH that silly Universe....immediately testing my resolve to not give any attention to things that don't matter, and Mean Girls who are seeking attention and trying to pick fights out of thin air. 

I won't give it legs by explaining. 

I will continue to put my boy first, as I have ALWAYS done. As I will always DO. My number one responsibility is my boy. The rest is just NOISE. Thanks for so definitively pointing that out! 

#bravein2017

'Sploded

Today started off badly. BAAADLY. I had a rough emotional night last night, and had my ass handed to me. For which I am very grateful, because I needed it. I'm proud that I was brave (#bravein2017) enough to face it, and put it to bed.

But it was HARD. 

This morning I woke up with a wickedly brutal headache. Between Shark Week and the emotional hangover, it was a DOOZY. 

When I got to work, I was met with peels of laughter and good morning wishes by my youngest nanny charge. Like her mother and I, she is not a morning person, but today was different, and it was glorious. On our way to school, I was asking her my standard questions. 

"How did you sleep?"

"Did you have sweet dreams?"

"Think of ways to show kindness!"

Today, instead of just answering my questions, she asked some of her own.

"Sthonia, how did YOU sleep? Did you have sweet dreams?" I told her that I slept well, and I had sweet dreams. 

"Why are you holding your neck?"

When I explained that I had a very bad headache, she so very sweetly said "Aawww...Sthonia...I'm so saaaawrry your head hurts. I wish it didn't." 

When I picked her up from school a couple of hours later and took her home, I got her settled. Then I explained that I needed to lay down for a few minutes while she played, to see if the medicine would kick in and help my head. She climbed up next to me on the couch and stroked my hair with one hand, and put her sweet little sparkly nail polished fingers in the palm of my other hand. She sat with me like that for 20 minutes. And you know what? It worked. *boooooooffff* 

So now I'm walking around with an exploded heart. :) 

Disgusting.

My head just exploded. 

This makes my stomach turn. 

There is no excuse for this.

I have no words. 

Coach

There is something truly special about a person who chooses a career based on their passions in life. 

Last night my son and I attended the end of year banquet for the varsity basketball team my boyfriend coaches. He's a full time dad, teacher, varsity coach, and coaches both of his son's league basketball teams. 

Listening to him talk about his sons, his team, and his mom last night.....moved me to tears. A man who is so dedicated to his kids and helping all kids achieve their goals is something to behold. I can't adequately describe how happy it makes me to witness this firsthand. I have always believed that if you do something you love, it won't feel like work. I found someone else who believes that, and has put it into practice himself. 

Endings

It's been 9 years and 11 months, 2 sets of tires, 144,718 miles, and a whooole lot more money than I want to put in type. But this morning, Yolanda The Honda went to her new home on a beautiful hill on Camano Island. The radio played all the best music, and the weather cooperated for me to have the sunroof open, and I got to use her V-6 the way it was intended. She was a race car all the way up Marine Drive, for her farewell journey.  

Yolanda The Honda, you were a dream car for 9 years, and a pain in the BUTT for the last 1. Thank you for safely transporting my boy and I, in style for so many years. ☺

Sunlight

This man understands and truly enjoys spending time with my son. In turn, his boys are not intimidated by my son either, and are getting to know him. I keep looking at this photo, and my heart keeps exploding over and over again. They were making shadow puppets in the sunlight, while we were spending the afternoon together. I feel so incredibly lucky. 

Pestilence

Oooooffff. It's been a rough 48 hours. My kiddo has been sick, and his cold/bug/whatever is now (thankfully) starting to break up. The good news is that it's on the upswing toward recovery. The bad news....it means neither of us gets any sleep. When my boy gets a cold, it isn't *just* a cold....it's massive barfing caused by post-nasal drainage. I end up lying there awake, listening for that dread gagging sound. I can't get him to stay on his side to keep him from aspirating the barf. When he was little, I would set up Barf Camp in the big white fluffy chair and hold him in the crook of my arm. I could prop us up with pillows and we could get a few hours of sleep here and there. But now, he's a good 5 inches taller than me. We don't fit in the big fluffy white chair anymore. So now, I leave both of our doors open, situate him on his side, and stuff pillows under his back to try to keep him there......and I listen. 

The family I work for has been battling illness after illness as well, so coming to work I'm in the nurse/Barf Camp business as well. The poor little girl I watch is down for the count again, and I feel so bad for her! Yesterday she got so mad and caterwauled "Being sick is STUPID!! I don't wanna be SICK ANYMORE!!" Agreed baby girl!! 

This level of tired is nauseating. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, right? I know why! 

While I wait for everyone at work to wake up and get moving for the day, I'm going to combat my exhausted crankiness with some gratefulness.

I'm grateful for; (In no particular order)

*My son's giggles, even when he doesn't feel well.

*My job. I love it. SO MUCH. And right now I'm having coffee, and oatmeal, with a gorgeous view, while snow softly falls. *sigh*

*My man's awesome upbeat attitude, even first thing in the morning, even during a phone call. (I loathe mornings and speaking on the phone)

*My cute, cozy, perfect for Braeden and I, home.

*My weekends off of parenting. Because duuuuuuude...when else am I going to sleep?

*My friends and family. 

*Coffee. Coffees. Aaaallllll the coffee.

*Boooooofffff*

One aspect of dating in your 40's, that I don't think we hear enough about, is kid introductions. The details about when is the best time, and how to do it can be very intimidating. 

I only introduced my son to two men I've dated. The last relationship I was in, for 7 months. And now this current relationship, which is at 6 months. I did the introduction with my current boyfriend earlier than I have in the past. I saw a future with him, and I really liked him. I wanted him to meet the love of my life early on, so if he wanted to bolt (like they've done in the past) he would do it before I'd fallen for him. 

He didn't bolt. He's sticking. :) AND he *gets* my boy. Like, REALLY gets my boy. Enjoys spending time with us, and asks great questions to try to understand my son's special needs. It is something to behold. I've suffered multiple heart explosions ever since, and I don't see that ending any time soon.

One of my favorite things about this man, is his love and dedication to kids. His career is kid-central. He coaches a high school team, and both of his son's teams. He has full custody of his boys. He is a wonderful person, and he loves kids. 

During the parenting class I took before my divorce was final, they taught that kids shouldn't be introduced in every relationship. That introductions should be saved for serious, long-term relationships. I took that to heart. And honestly....most of them weren't worthy of knowing my kiddo. 

Fast forward to last weekend. I've met my boyfriend's sons. We waited until they started asking to meet me, so it was on their terms. I met them at one of the games he coached, and it went very well. Last Friday, his youngest asked for me to sit near them for the final game of the season, which was HUGE. I sat near them, but stayed outside their bubble. I didn't want to overwhelm them. Within 15 minutes, the youngest had sidled right up to me, and was sharing photos on his phone. 

Sunday we took the monumental step of me joining them for a Super Bowl party. I picked them up, and had hot cocoa waiting in the car. (Hey. I'm a mom. I know the value of a good bribe.) We had a great drive there, with lots of laughs and jokes. The event itself went fabulously well, and by halftime, the youngest was sitting half in his dad's lap, half in mine. 

And the final hurdle; introducing my son to my boyfriend's boys. I left the viewing party early to pick my boy up at his father's and brought him back. They all did VERY well. A's boys had previously asked many good questions, so they knew he wouldn't be able to communicate the way they were used to, and they fully embraced that he is made differently than they are. We all rode home to their house together, and had giggles the whole way. When I dropped them off, the boys both doubled back to hug me. I wasn't expecting that, at ALL, and it was fantastic! 

This part of our relationship moving forward couldn't possibly have gone better than it did. Truly. When Braeden and I got home, I asked him via IPad how he felt about it, and he said "good! Fun!". The happy tears have been flowing freely.