Where Do You Draw The Line?

I have been officially divorced for a little over a year, but have been single for a little over 2 years. I gave myself a year off after my separation, to learn as much about myself and how to be alone as possible. I learned to be comfortable being alone, and invested a lot of time in therapy. I'm SO glad I did that hard work of unraveling the ways I was co-dependent, and understanding my contributions to the demise of my marriage. Once I began dating, I had to actually learn how to date. I'd met my husband at age 18, I was 22 when we got married, and 38 when we separated. I'd never *really* dated. WOW what a learning curve!!! I went on a couple blind dates, sewed some wild oats, got Catfished at an online dating site, and dated a few different men for short periods of time. I had allowed my ex-husband to knock me down to such a horrendous personal low, that I was always surprised when anyone was interested in me. Therapy helped me with that, and with understanding how to have a healthy relationship. 

If you've never been through a divorce, one of the things you have to do, is attend a parenting class. I took it very seriously and paid close attention to everything that was taught, because I thought there was a lot of value in learning from those that had successfully navigated co-parenting and moving on as a person with a child, who also might date. The biggest takeaway on the dating front for me was "don't introduce your kids to everyone you date." I had already decided that I wouldn't introduce my son to anyone who I knew wouldn't *stick* in our lives in some capacity. I refuse to allow a revolving door of people in his life. And? Someone has to be pretty freaking fantastic to be priveledged enough to meet and spend time with my boy.

Well, that has happened. But I don't know where to draw the line. I want the man I care about very, very much to meet the most important person in my life. I want to share the man I care about with my boy, and I want to share the pure joy that is my son, with one of the most significant men in my life. I think it is enormously important for our children to see us happy and thriving in loving, healthy relationships. How do you know if and when to make those introductions?

NOPE!

Sister Pyscho strikes again. Haven't spoken with her in 7 years. I didn't cause her bad life, didn't contribute to it, and I can't fix it. So rather than be punished by her whenever she felt like it, I had to remove her. 

This morning I woke up to a Facebook message from her that said "You're a piece of shit, and I hope you rot."

Lesson learned! Once someone earns a space on my blocked list, it will be permanent. If there are any questions about why I removed her from my life 7 years ago....re-read the message above. I can handle conflicted, obnoxious, sensitive and even crazy. But mean and cruel? NOPE.

OY!

The Universe hates me right now. Car has been at the mechanic for a week today. Diagnosis ~ new starter, and timing belt. CHA-CHING! This morning, my hot water heater in my house showed  the unmistakable signs of dying....rusty water. 

Ima need a little break on the wallet here now, mmmkay?

Car Trouble

(My boy checking out the front end of Yolanda The Honda on the first day of school)

I've had this fantastic car for 8 years. I bought it off Craig's List from a wonderful family, after 4 frustrating years of driving a gas-guzzling, nightmare-inducing, lemon quality GMC Yukon. Yolanda The Honda has been reliable, safe, and fun to drive. And drive her, I have! I've just passed 130,000 miles on the odometer, which means I've put 100,000 miles on her myself. Yesterday, she let me down for the first time. But the circumstances surrounding her *hiccup* were so lucky, I can't help but feel someone is looking out for me. I had just pulled into my driveway, but the remote on my garage door opener didn't open the door. So I turned off the car, removed the key, and opened the garage door myself. When I got back in to move the car into the garage, it wouldn't start. The battery is fine, the key would turn, but the engine wouldn't turn over. I went inside and thought I'd let the car sit for a few minutes, and I'd try again. In the meantime, I made a phone call to our family mechanic, and magically, he's recently started taking credit cards. My next call was to a local towing company, who very quickly had a driver at my house. He was able to start the car, and I was able to avoid costly towing fees. Additionally, the company didn't charge me for sending him out. As I was pulling out of my driveway to take the car to the mechanic, my friend pulled in to check on me, and was able to follow me out, and bring me back home. 

  To recap the lucky blessings....the car died in my driveway, not garage, where the tow truck could easily get to it, if it had needed to be towed. It died in my driveway, and not while I was out running errands with my son, or on my way to work in a rural area. It happened on a day when I didn't have my son with me, and I had the time to deal with getting it to the mechanic. The tow truck driver was able to work a little magic and saved me from costly towing fees, which would've been really tough on me in addition to whatever the repairs will cost. And my friend pulled into my driveway just as I was wondering how I'd get back from the mechanic. Furthermore, I've got 2 options for cars I can borrow to get back and forth from work while my car is in the shop. 

Definitely someone looking out for me. Or perhaps this is some good Karma coming back around? I need this little car to keep going at least until I've paid back friends money they lent me for my divorce attorney.  She's paid off, and I don't need a car payment right now.