My ex husband and I had a 45 minute discussion in front of our son, about how to address his new behaviors and how to support him through these big changes. I would've said we discussed it "with" our son, but he's non-verbal. Having him in the room and listening is as close as we get to "with".
It went extremely well. And I got the opportunity to put down a boundary with my ex about "our" behavior. I told him in no uncertain terms that we could continue to have these kinds of discussions as long as "we" could behave. It felt really good to say it, and now he knows I MEAN IT. I'm not playing. In spite of that rather uncomfortable few moments, I feel like it went very well.
As a result, I pushed the 1,000 pound grudge off of my forehead. Officially. I'm no longer seething with hatred for those people who've treated me like crap for 4+ years. I have ZERO expectations of them. I will keep doing the right thing. I'll keep being the best mom I can be. I'll keep taking care of myself. But I'm no longer carrying the burden of hating their guts. No matter what they do or say, I'm doing great. It feels really good.
Another side affect of letting go of the anger by having a difficult conversation, and taking my power back....I'm fearless. Totally and completely unafraid to say the difficult things. And 100% NOT. TAKING. ANYONE'S. SHIT. ANYMORE.
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