Looking at his Facebook profile photo.
I have avoided looking at his page since he dropped me off his friends list. And then today....I looked. I don't know why, other than I think now I can say with clarity that I'm an emotional cutter. Or had an emotional cutter weak moment? Any way you slice it (ha. ha. HA.) I looked today. I saw his face, and my heart bottomed out in my shoes. I missed him so much in that moment, while looking at his smile, that I sat down on my kitchen floor and cried. It really surprised me that it hurt that much. I'm not as far along in the healing process as I thought, which is truly disappointing.
More gym time, more kid time, more friend time, and taking care of me, are all in order. I've also acknowledged my limits, and blocked him. Now if I'm tempted to look, I can't.
Please tell me this will get easier....sooner, rather than later. Please?
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