Dating Ain't For Sissies

  I met two men recently, that I really liked. The first, we'll call him Blake Shelton (seriously, twins), is easily the nicest man I've ever met. In my life. Truly kind, gentle, sweet. I told my girlfriends I hoped I wouldn't "ruin" him with my foul mouth and sassiness. We went on one date, that was very nice. BUT. We just didn't quite click. I found myself having to explain my humor quite a lot.  Also, he wasn't a father. Something I've learned quickly is that men WITH kids are intimidated by my son's special needs. His own father couldn't hack it. How can I ask someone who doesn't understand that paternal bond, to accept all that *we* are as a package deal? I let him go.

  During the same week, I was fixed up with a man who I had INSTANT chemistry with. He appeared to be an amazing dad with primary custody of his two sons. He was REALLY funny and witty, which is a 'must have' for me. We went on 2 dates, laughed our asses off, and flirted relentlessly. We talked every day. Aaaaand then he disappeared. *poof* ghosted me.  He didn't owe me an explanation. But it would be nice to know what in the actual FUCK happened. 

  I feel like a complete and utter failure. Again? Still? Whatever. 

  So. I'm out. Off the market indefinitely. I'm going to keep focusing on my son, and on myself. I've been working out like crazy, and starting to see physical results. The endorphins are helping my mental state.